Miss Manners: I took flak for not declaring my kindergartner to be a graduate

DEAR MISS MANNERS Our daughter is finishing kindergarten and will start first grade in the fall Related Articles Miss Manners I m not going to stop taking candid photos of strangers Miss Manners How insistent can I be about the spelling of my child s name Miss Manners They snubbed us we cut them then things got awkward Miss Manners Particular of my co-workers refuse to pay the potluck queen Miss Manners I want to tell these parents that their children are at exposure Neither the school nor our family is celebrating this milestone with a graduation or in any way differently than we would any advancement from one grade to the next Our church annually celebrates graduates in the early summer with a certificate and inhabitants recognition on graduation Sunday I think this is a charming tradition and an significant part of being in society with each other Because our daughter isn t graduating I did not submit a form noting her graduation to the church secretary who organizes graduation Sunday This resulted in a call from the secretary who craved to know if she could include our daughter in the list of graduates I responded that she could not because our daughter didn t graduate from anything The secretary didn t give up arguing that other families were listing their children who had graduated from preschool and kindergarten Wouldn t our daughter feel left out I responded that she would likely be more confused and embarrassed she is autistic and does not like to be singled out at being recognized for something her school and family had not mentioned The secretary absolutely gave up the point after I remained firm The whole interaction left me confused Why would anyone even call a child who finished kindergarten a graduate Doesn t graduation require earning a degree diploma or certificate I love the tradition of celebrating the hard work of graduates and sending them off to the next challenge But if all of our graduates are - and -year-olds it seems to miss the point I would love to hear Miss Manners thoughts GENTLE READER No doubt those - and -year-olds are also missing the point as they find that it is practicable to be a graduate without academic achievements DEAR MISS MANNERS It seems more and more of my friends young adult children are getting tattoos Often my friends share the news like the tattoo is chosen sort of accomplishment and if the young adult is present will summon them over to show off the new ink to presumably collect compliments While I don t begrudge others doing what they want with their bodies I don t have tattoos myself and don t personally understand the appeal I also admit that when someone permanently tattoos themselves at the tender age of or nothing in my being thinks congratulations or praise is in order Most of of the other friends will feign interest and offer complimentary comments about the design I usually just smile and listen Related Articles Jill On Money Financial advice for college grads East Bay crow won t heed the message to go away Asking Eric Can I tell my guests this is various crazy insurance rule Harriette Cole My friend got engaged and now she s doing things that worry me Miss Manners I m not going to stop taking candid photos of strangers While I don t want to make up fake compliments saying nothing doesn t feel entirely polite either What do you think GENTLE READER If there is one thing Miss Manners would think these young adults should have learned from posting personal information online it is that showing off to others does not inspire universal admiration Perhaps they neglected to teach their parents that attempts to solicit compliments are likely to produce snarky responses Not that you or any of their friends would be so rude But neither do you have to produce false flattery Rather you can entirely ask polite questions How did you choose the design Will you be doing more of these and definitely not Are you nuts Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO