Asking Eric: Father’s questions keep offending adult daughter

Dear Eric I am and my daughter is I am a retired professional and my daughter a college graduate and business owner gets offended when I question anything she does She s considering going back to school to enhance her marketability and when she established me a counseling plan she was interested in I noticed one of the required courses was statistics When I demanded her if she realized that it is a high-level math syllabus she became insulted Her major in college was graphic design and she consistently avoided math classes once she left high school What should I have explained done I didn t want her to get into a plan where she might not be prepared for the coursework Please advise This has happened in other instances and I just seem to keep unintentionally hurting her feelings Concerned Parent Dear Parent I know your intentions were good and you didn t want to insult your daughter but I fear you re still seeing her for the person she was at or rather than the adult she is now Asking her if she realized the math program was high-level not-so-subtly implies that she hasn t thought this through even though she likely has I know you want to protect her but she has matured and changed she can protect herself Part of this is a growing pain in the relationship you re building with your adult child It happens The next time you feel the impulse to warn or question take a step back and use it as an opportunity to marvel at the person your daughter has become With this math unit for instance you could have been and still can be impressed that someone who avoided math years ago is now voluntarily taking on statistics in the interest of advancing her career When in doubt tell her you re proud of her and you re rooting for her consistently That ll go a lot further Dear Eric I am a man in my s who has fulfilled a -year dream I have written produced and starred in a comedy web series I worked diligently on the scripting put up my own funding hired professional lighting sound and editing Three weeks after it was cut I uploaded it to a popular comedy website To my dismay I received particular very negative even cruel comments Fortunately I also received positive feedback But what shocked me is that three or four of my closest friends reacted with a shrug They weren t mean but they couldn t muster up much enthusiasm Comments like It s not my cup of tea or I see what you were trying for hurt me Another friend advised me to post to other sites to expand viewing but frankly I find myself becoming very chilly to those friends who didn t love it Worse than feeling hurt by these friends is the realization that I m a middle-aged baby for resenting their honest opinions I believe in the series and want to take it to a larger site but I m concerned about my thin-skinned childish feelings Should I keep going with it or accept it as a failure and move on Meanwhile I m avoiding two of my friends entirely for giving me their honest input Comedy and Errors Related Articles Asking Eric Wife s comments to son-in-law bother husband Asking Eric Parents house has become free hotel for friends Asking Eric Brothers spar over -year-old loan Asking Eric After job loss comes shame and meddlesome advice Asking Eric Son s family treats parents house like a storage unit Dear Comedy If you can stand a little more honest input I d encourage you to be kinder to yourself It s perfectly normal and not at all babyish to experience bruised feelings when people don t like our work Comments online can be especially harsh because people often forget or willfully ignore that there s a human being on the other side of the computer You make your art because it brings you bliss and you want to bring gratification to others It s hard to then pivot when the art becomes a commodity that s getting pulled apart and critiqued by strangers Or as has happened to you by friends A hard truth about making art is that our friends and loved ones may not unfailingly be our target audience I wish your friends had been able to commend you for the effort even if they weren t bowled over by your punchlines But don t let that stop you from feeling proud You ve done the hard part you created something out of nothing identified the funding put together the talent and produced your dream You ve already reached particular members of your ideal audience Don t forget that positive feedback Forgive your friends for not having the right words and when you upload the video to the bigger site consider not reading the comments or asking someone else to summarize them Even when the feedback is great online comments can really leech the pleasure out of doing something Plus unless that feedback is going to help you make the next thing you ve got to ask yourself what it s really for Send questions to R Eric Thomas at eric askingeric com or P O Box Philadelphia PA Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas com